Source: Fridays

Thank the lord for America’s independent, free press, delving into the weightiest and most controversial of issues, serving as a public watchdog, the fourth estate, protecting our freedoms… and eating mozzarella sticks for 14 hours so we don’t have to.

In case you haven’t heard, T.G.I. Friday’s launched a new promotion at select locations, giving patrons the chance to eat an unlimited amount of appetizers for just $10. Creatively, it’s called “Endless Appetizers.”

I know what you’re thinking. “Psha. Endless? Yeah, right. They’ll crack down on you by hour three and start demanding you order something or get out.” Especially in the no-nonsense, rough-and-tumble Sheepshead Bay location, right?

That’s what Gawker’s Caity Weaver thought too. So she did her journalistic duty, trekked down to Harkness Avenue, ordered some endless mozzarella sticks (you only get to choose one of seven appetizers – madness!), and sat their for four… teen… freakin’… hours.

Forget Israel. Forget the Ukraine. Somebody get this lady a Pulitzer and tell all those other reporters to go home.

What resulted from the effort was a whopping 6,000-word opus to utter self-contempt in a nearly minute-by-minute breakdown of her stay. All-in-all, Weaver didn’t eat all that much; just 7 orders, or 32 mozzarella sticks in total. That’s an amount most of fat, big-mouthed jerks behind keyboards think is just pitiful, but Weaver attributes it to the fact that Friday’s mozzarella sticks, which have been gussied in up in vain with a Parmesan and Romano dusting, were just god awful. And I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt, because by the end of it she so clearly hated herself in a way that suggested she ate three times that amount.

The conclusion? Well, the Endless Appetizers deal is unlimited, although Weaver potentially sabotaged the report by disclosing to management before she began that she was there to test the policy. So further research must be done. (We’re on it.)

Other takeaways? Friday’s mozzarella sticks reportedly suck. Heinz makes you do too much to participate in their back-of-the-bottle promotions. The daytime service at Fridays is nice; in the evening, not so much. Weaver doesn’t care much for Plumb Beach channel, which she describes thusly, “as nice as any scenic bay or rainbow gasoline puddle.” There appear to be a few creeps who hang out there and say weird things to pretty girls covered in mozzarella-stick-grease.

Oh, and Caity Weaver is funny as hell. Read this thing. It was the best part of my day.

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  • raylotekka

    I read this a couple of days ago, after reading a Slate article that mentioned and provided a link to the Gawker piece. It was quite the hilarious read. I loved this first hand account of the ills of unlimited mozzarella sticks. Screw the unlimited apps, just being in a TGIF from opening until closing would make me wish for death …

    It was so great that it took place at THIS Friday’s.

  • Lisanne!

    I didn’t even know that the TGIFriday’s was still on Harkness Avenue. I thought they closed. Which suggests that they need to do something about their signage. Free appetizers can only go so far as a promotion.

    • bagels

      Went there after my daughter’s graduation on a wednesday night at about 9PM. The place was packed. There seems to be a big bar scene over there – very rowdy and loud.

      • Lisanne!

        If people go there all the time the signs wouldn’t matter. But I haven’t been in there for quite awhile and it was only after I got back from the area that I realized that I hadn’t noticed it. So I thought it had closed.

        • Supporter of Left Handed Rule

          Lisa, they reopened a few months ago without much advertising. I found out during one of my sojourns to Jordan’s Lobster Dock for my fix of fried calamari. Both joints are jumping and could use more parking space if such a thing existed. You gotta get out more sweetie.

          • Lisanne!

            I think that before they built the theater I had been on Harkness Avenue once. It was very strange looking back then. I have been to the UA theater twice since then. I have gone to some of he other venues a few times though.

  • HarryB

    Heres my 2 cents….Someone must really have alot of time on their hands if they can spend 14 hrs at fridays. Why dont thesr reporters concentrate on more important issues that write about TGI fridays nasty motz sticks. Find a real job…seriously. Articles like these make you NOT want to visit Sheepsheadbites.

  • Subway Stinker

    Back in the early 1970′s, Howard Johnson’s orange roofed restaurants offered both All You Can Eat Fryed Fish and All You Can Eat Fried Chicken. I planned my cross-country road trip based on their locations so at least twice a week I could fill up on real food instead of campfire fare.